I received an anonymous email this morning from someone claiming to have the deets on one Jack Hunter and the mystery as to why Miss Isis Blake remains MIA sans the obit after he was alleged to have left her crib only a couple days gone-by, in a hail of bullets and blaze of glory. This maven of information claims that despite Jack’s snark and bitter coldness his eternal ennui he couldn’t hide his ragin’ distress at the thought of the bitchy Blake being on the sad end of social media scandal. A quote:
“Wow, for someone so eager to deny a love-child, and claim his “nemesis” a harpy, the guy seemed pretty torn up over some titty pics and suspect sluttery. Isn’t it strange how love and war always seems to end in even the most notorious losing all sense of conviction.”
I won’t leave you in any more suspense. Read the thrilling exchange below. Warning… Anonymous did not pull punches, it seems that someone other than Isis fails to find the Ice Prince a hot commodity.
I’ve been hearing tales about you, Boyfriend. So many kiss and tellers.
Rumors say that you and Isis Blake staged the whole fighting thing and this entire time you have been dating secretly and she transferred out because she’s pregnant. Is that true?
“Is it true you’re an underdeveloped moron? Don’t answer that. I already have.”
Did you really beat up her dad when he wouldn’t let you marry her?
“Harpies don’t have fathers.”
Did you beat her up when she told you she wasn’t going to let you see your love-child?
“The only love-child she and I have together is named Eternal Hate. And right about now I’m considering siccing that particular monster on you.”
Did you hear that that Wren kid had some sort of lustful crush on Isis and he uploaded naked photos of her to the internet?
*Jack snorts* “Wren is a spineless, sniveling coward, but he’s not an idiot. Anyone who’d upload pictures of that hellion would incur her ridiculously irritating wrath. Besides, he’s obsessed with Kayla.”
I don’t know where he got the picture’s of her but from what I heard she posed for them. I bet she’s a real horndog. Know anything about that?
“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”
So when you started seeing Kayla is it true that you were just after her to make Isis jelly?
“Oh, yes. In-between our extended and exhausting duel to the death, I am certainly concerned with making her jealous.” *Jack’s voice drips sarcasm*
Huh, well then what about the word from the little bird that says you’re so deep in the closet that you’re in Narnia and your Boyfriend won’t let you come clean and that is why you’re such a major prick?
*Jack just sighs and rubs his eyes tiredly*
Then it is true that you are in love with Isis and you are either too shamefaced or ball-less to admit it to the world at large? I never pegged Jack Hunter as such a puppy with his tail between his legs.
*Jack is silent for a few seconds, his expression cold and unreadable*
“That girl isn’t any of my concern. She’s an entertaining distraction from the boredom of high school. That’s it. Anything else you presume between us is idiocy and illusion on your part.”
Are we done? I guess we’re done?
To check out Any Day That Ends In YA – Lovely Vicious by Sara Wolf from November to see my thoughts on the happenings in the Lovely Vicious first book.
Sara Wolf’s Web Tracks: website, Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads! Her other books are Arranged and Disarranged. January 2014 Savage Delight, book 2 in the Lovely Vicious series will be released which will give you a huge helping of Jack and Isis covered in snark, insults and finely phrased statements of distress.
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